This is a true story about a sandwich

I have a hard time processing my feelings and an even harder time expressing them. The Bishopric came over to Jan's the other night and everyone shared something really beautiful regarding the passing of Popsy. I couldn't get up the courage and was nervous about how it would all come out. I just wanted to write down a recent experience I had with Popsy. It's a bit of a travel log so it could be a bore to read.

Popsy and I recently traveled together for the purpose of attending Nate's graduation. Nate was already in California working so we were going to meet up with him for about 24 hours of good times. We discussed driving to the airport together but I was too nervous about being late so I had my Dad drive me down. We had a long day of travel ahead of us due to delayed planes and a long layover. Our first layover was in Phoenix. I watched his bags so he could get his shoe's shined. He said the airport is the best place for a shoe shine. He spent most of the layover debating whether or not he was going to purchase some chocolate covered cashews. I could tell he was really at war with himself because he wanted to stick to his diet. We lined up to board the plane for California and he couldn't take it any longer. He had to have those cashews and darted back to the nearest gift shop to claim them. So, I nervously stood by his luggage as I watched other passengers board the plane. He made it back in the nick of time and he bought a bag for me too. I thought that was really nice of him. I don't like cashews but as it turns out the chocolate covered ones aren't too shabby. We made it to California safely and headed to Nate's temporary residence to pick him up so we could grab a late lunch. After lunch we debated if we were going to have enough time to get to the hotel and back before the graduation started. Because of traffic, we turned around and decided the best thing to do was to get ready closer to Nate's school. We ended up getting ready in a parking lot near the school. I applied my make-up in the car and Popsy was primping outside by the trunk of the car. When I was ready I stepped out of the car and smelled a hint of what Nate calls pinetree perfume. Popsy asked for my opinion about his hat. "Should I leave it on or off?" I chose off and away we went. Nate's graduation was really great. It's always been important for Nate to feel like his Dad was proud of him. He was. I could tell. It was fun to be a witness of that at the graduation.
The next morning we dropped Nate off and headed back to the airport. I remember he said "you know Nate is a cute guy" I kind of laughed because I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not. He was being serious. And then it just made me smile because I think that is a really sweet thing for a dad to say. He was a tender guy that Popsy.

When our return flight was announced, we lined up to board the plane. I remember he was kind of miffed because I was way ahead of him in line. He checked in a couple of hours before me and some how ended up with a higher boarding number. I made sure to give him a friendly wave from the front of the southwest line.
We had a layover in Oakland and debated over what to eat. I was fine not eating because of the cost of food. He was on the same page but had a weak moment and decided to go for a ten dollar sandwich. He took it out of the plastic carton and shared the other half with me. I thought that was really nice. I grabbed a hold of the sandwich and went in for a bite and noticed some mold. I typically fear mold but the sandwich was spendy and knowing Popsy, mold probably wasn't a deal breaker. I thought about spitting it out when he wasn't looking but my napkin was really tiny. I ended up picking off the moldy bits and hid them in the napkin. I finished my unsavory sandwich and walked to the garbage can. I noticed a few stray crumbs fell on my seat when I got up. I watched Popsy look at them. It was kind of hilarious. I don't think he saw the mold. I think he was just surprised by the mess I left behind. I noticed our sandwich container hadn't made it's way to the trash yet so I made another trip. I glanced down and saw that it had an expiration date on it. According to the date, that sandwich had some living to do. It was supposed to last a little longer. I know it sounds weird but I have thought a lot about this sandwich since Popsy's passing. Not to compare him to a sandwich but I think we all felt like he was going to live longer. There wasn't any mold growing as if to warn us to love him a little more or give him bigger hugs. His expiration from this life took us by surprise. I know he was loved and I certainly felt loved by him.
If there is any unfinished business between me and Popsy it's that I never got the chance to tell him that I ate a moldy sandwich for him. I don't do that for just anyone. And ya know, I would probably do it again. I love you, Popsy.